I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
