i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
