that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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