Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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