it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
