You work out of a Hotel?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
