I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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