That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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