oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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