omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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