As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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