Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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