Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
