Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
