It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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