Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
