kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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