i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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