She announced her abortion via fbk
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
