Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
