he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
