Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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