I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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