Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize