but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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