Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
