is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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