Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
