All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
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Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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