I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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