But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
