Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
