Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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