Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize