before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We have started to decorate penises.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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