You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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