i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize