fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize