Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
