the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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