And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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