I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
