a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
