Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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