normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
