You're my little dorito
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
