i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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