When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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