I am in a vortex of obligation.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
