i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
