I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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