ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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