No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Everyone says I win the strip club
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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