I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
