There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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