I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
