Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
