what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
