i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
