I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
