I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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