used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
