There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
